Music from the 1970s has been found to cause many extremely serious health problems. In an alarming study researchers caution the public to avoid any prolonged exposure to these terrible songs. While all music from the 70s is dangerous, the following "styles" are particularly hazardous:

• Sensitive ballads sung by men "in touch with their feelings" - diabetes and spine problems


• Assertive feminist anthems - cause of that "not so fresh feeling"


• You Light Up My Life - a known carcinogen


• Disco - primary source of ebola


• Story songs - IBS and upper respiratory infections


• Concept rock albums - premature aging, senility, and cirrhosis

If you should hear any music from this era, plug your ears tightly and remove yourself from the area immediately.

Source : Massachusetts Department of Mental Hygiene. "Death Before and After Disco" New England Journal of Medical Information, July 10, 2008.