In 1928 the small farming town of Mortling, Alabama was overrun by hundreds of thousands of gophers. A desperate populace exterminated the swarm of rodents with explosives and poison. This combination of weapons was the catalyst for an unforeseen situation. While the explosives killed all the fuzzy rodents, the poison caused mutations and made a fair percentage return from the dead. Zombie gophers have plagued the area ever since. The ghoulish animals feast used to feed on the flesh of livestock. Since the 1970s they have just lurched around the parking lot of the town's KFC.

Source : Tolstoy, Leo. "Ghoulish Gophers Go Ga-Ga" Pravda, October 29, 1940.

Archaeologists excavating in the Middle East have unearthed a new biblical scroll. According to scholars who have seen the artifact, it will add greatly to a more complete understanding of certain religious matters. One of the most startling is the revelation that Jonah was a duck. A mallard of some sort.

Source : Cular, Pia. For Goodness Sake, He's a Drake, 2009.

Carbonated beverages have been found to have many previously unrealized health benefits. A scientific report released yesterday revealed that drinking soda cures and/or prevents a number of major illnesses. A daily glass of root beer dropped rates of koro by nearly half. Mange sufferers should both drink and bathe in orange soda at least three times a week. Suffer from Jumping Frenchmen of Maine Disorder? Birch Beer every day will keep you grounded. Diet sodas, on the other hand, transmit the taste of death itself and will lead to an early grave.

Source : Seltzer, Alfred K. "Fizzy Drink Health Link" Carbon Nation, March 2009.

Olives are used as currency on the remote island nation of Drupe. Black olives are valued more than green ones, especially if the latter contains a pimento. Pitted olives of either kind are worth more than those containing pits. The Drupe Stock Market trades daily and is known for it's delicious exchange rate with the Yen, Euro, and the Little Tiny Pickle.

Source : Birr, Kip. "Endocarp Economics", Business Weak, October 2007.

Odd hats were a sign of sexuality in the Victorian era. The custom was more ludicrous the hat, the more adventurous the wearer. In that repressed time it was a way for more amorous citizens to express themselves and attract suitors. The trend faded from popularity after the First World War, when hair washing and public promiscuity became more commonplace. Plus, people realized such hats were not in fact attractive.

Source : Fe, Dora. Wanton a Hat : Victorian Headwear and Social Order, 1983.